Tezeta and Kirar

On a freezing night the wind comes through my window; I can't bear the cold without my Gabi. Where did I put my Gabi? It used to be my mother's; I looked into the closet. This Gabi carried a lot of memories. It never fails to mesmerise me how we are interconnected with one another. The music player is on, and Kassa is playing his Kirar. Every time I hear his magical voice, I feel lonesome. I go through a pain that I never experienced before. I can't explain that; words fail me. But I ask myself, how can an instrument like a Kirar easily wound one's soul? Also, why am I addicted to it?

 
I hurt myself today.
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain.
The only thing that's real 

I recite from my all-time favourite singer and songwriter Jonny Cash's song called Hurt. In a way, with his guitar, he is the Ferenge version of Kassa Tessema. I see a vast sky beyond my bedroom shutter. There are no stars; it's a dark space. Where did they go? I try to look and search the lost stars inside my heart. I can't hear; I don't feel my heart pounding inside my chest. Why am I feeling strange to myself? Am I alive? What happened to me? 

I became uncertain about the paths that I took, the choices that I made in life are the right ones; I doubt that. Is this the person that I wanted to become as a child? What did I wish for? I don't really know. Maybe if the pains are real, I can say that I am alive, because that's all I have been feeling my entire life. Finally, I know that there is no cure for every wound and pain. There is no one silver bullet for different problems. Sometimes we have to accept those pains and wrong choices as they are. Even if we had all the time in the world, we wouldn't have a life free from defects and self-doubts; that's what makes us human.

🦅 Esubalew Abera Nigussie